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10 more songs from a bedroom on a mountain in a never-ending winter

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Recursion: anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again.

“Ellie Kemper” is a collection of songs that I wrote, recorded, and mixed over the span of 8 months, September 2022 - April 2023. While I would hope these songs speak to you in whatever way is most meaningful, to me these songs are about deconstructing (and finding comfort in the balance between) natural patterns of competing recursive forces: progress & regress, love & hate, order & chaos, growth & decay, life & death.

I have spent much of my life so far in what I perceived as a black-or-white, all-or-nothing existence. Over the years, rigorous religious conditioning combined with the intricacies of being neurodivergent had crafted a thick monochromatic lens in which I viewed both the world & myself. I saw the notion of “progress” as a straight line pointing right to perfection, and “regress” as any deviation from that inherently impossible path. With such an understanding, perceived failure and subsequent self-hatred were inevitable, and with time they became cyclical, repetitive, recursive. When I first started going to therapy last summer, I could feel cracks in this lens begin to form, with complex layers of color starting to pour through for the first time. Today, much of that color is still dull - but every other day It seems like I’m noticing a new rich shade of beautiful balance. Peace & love, Jacob

Emo video game nostalgia fever dream DIY multimedia metaproject by
Jacob [he/him] & friends

everything on this bandcamp will always be free to download

1. YouTube
2. chpoint.online